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Some @eve_lom swatches for you guys today! All 3 shades were combined for my perfect lip color. 🥰
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. This is the first time I’ve ever shared of a photo of my smile on IG and it makes me a bit uncomfortable because these shots are so zoomed in. To be honest, I’ve never liked my smile and always find myself sporting a closed mouth in photos. But this week I challenged myself to take some zoomed in shots to help me see my crooked teeth and thin lips in a new light. And guess what? They’re beautiful! And not even as crooked as I thought they were (no surprise that our brains seem to find ways of exaggerating perceived “flaws” 🤦🏻‍♀️ And yet even if I had no teeth whatsoever, could I love my smile? That’s the dream...)
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. Here are some of my personal goals in 2019 that hopefully you can borrow too - smiling more widely, grinning with crooked teeth, sporting a double chin with pride, loving your body type in all its glory, and seeing yourself for what you REALLY are - a beautiful, interesting, warm hearted person who is getting more stunning with age despite fitting in f*cked up beauty standards less and less. Cheers to wrinkles & pimples, too. ❤️

Since a bunch of you guys asked me about how bad my photos get without sunlight or flash, I thought I’d share an example today haha. 😂 While I still like this photo, I think it shows the lack of skill I have while shooting under cloudy weather with artificial light. You can barely make out the products it gets so blender together into the background. Not my finest work by any means but I think it’s important to show our failures from time to time. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I may never have the versatility as a photographer that I want but I sure love to try new styles anyways. It’s a process.
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. In another news @obagiclinical just launched at Sephora and I’ve been loving their line so far! The vitamin c sunscreen is a genius formula and I keep being impressed by their innovative ideas. I haven’t tried all of the products in my collection just yet but so far I think this line could be a hit!
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. @twice sent over their morning and evening toothpastes and I’m in love with the flavors! Especially the Lavender Vanilla. This has upped my tooth brushing game x 10! I find myself actually looking forward to it which is a shock.
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. I’ve been meaning to try @briogeo for some time, especially their scalp line because my hair is so damn oily with residue. The don’t despair shampoo has an amazing scent andbis super hydrating, but I find myself using it as a conditioner because it doesn’t clean my scalp enough. While it’s not at all suited to my hair type, I still really like the formula and think a lot of dry hair friends of mine would better suit the product. So if that’s you, it’s worth giving this one a try!
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. Lastly my @diptyque collection is growing slowly but surely! Oud remains my favorite scent in their line but I wish it came in a parfum formula as well! Right now it’s only available in candle form (I find myself wanting to rub the wax on my skin so the scent stays with me all day. 😂) And Eau Rose is a close second favorite!
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. What are you up to this Wednesday?

This photo reminds me of what a weekend is supposed to feel like (but sadly doesn’t, haha). I suppose beautiful lighting just makes me come alive... I really miss having windows facing it. 🌤 While most people I follow are addicted to good lighting just as much as I am (aka relying on sunlight or DSLR flash in order to take good looking photos), there are a few accounts I love who manage to make artificial light look absolutely STUNNING! A few of the accounts are: @christina.kassi, @skincarestandard, @thecriticalbabe and more. 🔥 Of course not every single shot of theirs is taken with artificial light (some are sunlight & some are flash) but they do feature artificially/lamp lit shots frequently enough to impress me. What is even more impressive is all of these accounts feature IPHONE SHOTS regularly. Which blows my mind! I’ve disliked iPhone photography with a passion for a while now as the quality is usually SO bad and the editing tends to look awful too. Maybe because it’s so lazy by comparison to DSLR photography which usually shows in the resulting photo? With iPhones you just click on button and it feels like the quality matches the amount of effort required. But these gorgeous accounts might have actuaklu converted me to iPhone photography!!?? I’m beyond impressed! They beat most DSLR shots, even! I stand corrected. 🥰
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. For those of you who artificially light your photos successfully, what’s the trick to getting the colors & grain to look good? Lack of light always turns on me and makes my photos look awful. Dark, grainy, unsaturated, and you can barely tell the shapes of the products. 🤷🏻‍♀️ how do you get that warm glow, gorgeous colors, & crisp lines that well lit photos offer? Yellow artificial lights? Bedside lamps? Ya girl has a cheap lighting setup already with daylight bulbs but it doesn’t go well for me. 😂 None of the lighting tricks have worked out yet and I google them constantly. Maybe it’s my 10 year old DSLR that’s at fault. But hey, if you’ve had success with artificial lighting I’d love to hear from you! Teach me you ways? 😇
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. I’ll talk about this gorgeous duo from @thenimetyou later. Hope you all have a beautiful Monday! 😘 xx

Happy Saturday sweet souls! ❤️ I’m a bit burned out from reviewing products right now so I decided to share an excerpt from my personal notebook about instead. It’s titled “about roses”.
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. “Roses are a gift that grows in dirt, a gift I find in bottles.... potions, perfumes, & concoctions. I’ve grown roses, drunk roses, painted roses on stretched canvas. I’ve kept rose absolutes like treasures under my floor - only ever breathing in their scent and applying them to my wrists as a fleeting memory. Sensual and deep and dark and sweet.
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. Roses have me hypnotized. They say we see the world through rose colored glasses. I pray with roses, wrapping them against the fragrant palo santo wood. Weaving in hemp to keep the fragile rosebuds from falling. The smell of those prayers is of smoke and beauty.
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. Roses are the very essence of a woman. Satin lips, warm souls, strong limbs, and callused hands worn out from holding the universe up with nothing more than your fingertips. You are kindred spirits, tender but strong. Rooted in the very ground where you came from...
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. Some people hold roses so tightly I worry that they’ll crush the petals in their palms. But roses persist regardless of tight fists or guarded hearts. When you crush them, they are not destroyed, they offer up the sweetest fragrance as forgiveness. Like women, roses survive.
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. Whether you’re a rose or full bodied human, YOU, my dear, are resilient. You are soft. You offer up your beauty to the world without hesitation. As for myself, my inner rose has wilted but in moments of gentle solitude I feel her daring to grow back again.”
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. - written on november 9th
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. What flowers speak to your soul? For myself, it’s rose & jasmine that go the deepest but all plants hold a special meaning to me. If you’ve never read “braiding sweetgrass” by #robinwallkimmerer, I hope you do soon. She’s a botanist, scientist, & poet. If you’ve yet to fall in love with plants, it will offer you the chance to do so. Robin’s words are medicine for the soul. 🌹✨

Sometimes creating a skincare routine feels like choosing materials for a painting. I like to imagine what my skin will look like afterwards (am I aiming to create a matte base? A dewy glossy glow?) and then choose my paint colors/skincare products accordingly. Keeping one’s skincare routine consistent is super important but that doesn’t mean I can’t play around with the textures & products I’ve already committed to. ☺️
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. Lately I’ve been inviting myself to remain open to the possibility of “play” in my life. So much of long term illness revolves around DISability (the things I can no longer do), rigid schedules, and unfulfilled needs. Those things are very real, and will never go away. But instead of giving into despair, I’ve been asking myself questions like “how can I make my daily routines more creative and less monotonous?” “how can I find seated yoga poses that work for my limited range of motion?” “How can I create real joy in my life on a liquid diet, drugged up on hundreds of medications, with constant medical stress?” The universe keeps answering: “play”. So for a few minutes of my day, I invite myself to be open to creativity, change, & play. It has been transforming meaningless everyday tasks like washing my face, taking my meds - even interacting with my medical team - into something deeper. Like meditation, inviting “play” feels like coming home to myself.
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. This past month is the worst month I’ve had in years, so self care is extra vital. Inviting creativity, imagination, and compassion - these are the things that can make a difficult existence more beautiful, even if only in the moments in between. 🌹✨
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. Self care can take many forms and today I choose to share my creativity (even if this picture doesn’t fit into my feed). I choose holding Boris in my arms. I choose bodywork. I choose therapy. I choose comfy chairs. I choose taking the medication that keeps me body breathing, even if I hate the side effects. I choose gratitude for the gift of life, despite it’s fragility. I choose compassion. I choose sleep.
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. Thanks for reading, and I hope you are finding moments of rest, my friends. You are so very loved. ❤️ xx

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